Widow Grief

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Anne-Marie Lockmyer

Dear Widowed Friend,

Losing a husband impacts so many areas of your life.  You never wanted to be on this journey.  It can be a time of shock, anxiety, confusion, overwhelming sadness, and excruciating pain.  Pain that is truly indescribable and unimaginable until you have experienced it.  Pain isn’t even a strong enough word.  Anguish might be better, but that’s not enough either.

There are so many questions and causes for concern.

What do you do now?  

What does the future look like?  

How will you get by? 

Will you ever be okay again? 

How will you go on? 

Who are you now?

What if we told you that the end of your husband’s life does not need to be the end of your life?  That you could actually experience a rich life while remembering him well.  

You may want to swear at us – thinking this is impossible and that we don’t understand your pain!  

But we do! 

We have worked with many brokenhearted widows like you and were there ourselves. We have experienced it and seen in our clients that you can have joy, and hope, and live again—in time and with active healing steps.

You will be different.  Your life will be different.  But it can still be good.  This doesn’t happen overnight.  It doesn’t happen in a few months or even a year.  But it is possible!

If you are newly widowed, we don’t expect you to begin to understand this.  Right now, you are probably just barely surviving, and the goal is to get you through one minute at a time, a day at a time.  

My friend, this is not a journey to do alone.  We hope the content we have created for you will offer you some support and solace.  We remember what it is like.  

For now, we want to leave you with hope.  Because we promise you – there is hope, even if you can’t feel it yet.  We will hope for you!  You can borrow hope from us. 

Grief Recovery Specialist

For New Widows:

16 Essential Things New Widows Need to Know

Grief Recovery Specialist

Dear Widow Sister!

 Your whole world changed overnight, didn’t it?  Your world has stopped while everyone else’s goes on.  I know.  I’ve been there.  Look at my face in this picture.  Can you see my pain and grief?  Can you relate?                    

When my husband suddenly died of a brain aneurysm, I remember watching everyone around me and thinking, “How can you go on like life is normal?  It’s not!! A bomb has gone off in my life and affected everything.  Don’t you see?  I was stunned by grief!

Losing any close loved one is devastating but losing a husband tends to impact every area of your life because our lives are so intertwined. It’s scary, confusing, and devastating – and so lonely. 

You may doubt that you could ever recover or be okay again.  I did.  You may lose your zest for living and not want to go on.  I didn’t want to take my life, but if a bus hit me on the way home from work, I was just fine with that.  If you are suicidal, that is different.  Please seek help right away!

Ron explains that navigating widowhood is like coming home to a pitch-black house. The lights don’t work, and someone has moved all the furniture around. You know the house and where things should be, but you are stumbling around because things have changed. Widows can feel lost in their own lives. Things are familiar but different at the same time.  It’s very confusing and often scary.

A widow can lose her confidence and identity while feeling excruciating emotional and sometimes physical pain that goes deeper than she could have ever imagined.  It is a pain you can’t honestly understand until you have been through it.  It’s unbelievable and often unbearable. 

 Please don’t give up.  Below is a video I did on the 7th anniversary of my husband’s death.  I was no longer the person pictured above when I had no hope and didn’t think I would ever be okay. 

 From one widow to another, I am sending you a huge hug.  Please hang in there.  Don’t give up.  And take your time.  This is your journey, in your way and in your time.  Be gracious to yourself, dear friend.

 Warmly,

Depending on where you are in your grief journey and how long it has been since your husband died, different content on our site will pertain to you.  Please get what you can now, and don’t worry if you aren’t ready for some topics yet.  Skip them. They may be of interest to you later.

WHEN YOU ARE READY, THERE IS MUCH WE CAN DO TO HELP YOU HEAL.

Our greatest joy and honor is guiding heartbroken widows through a journey towards healing and hope.  What we do is not for early on your grief.  You are numb, in shock, and just trying to survive.  

As time passes, you will regain some of your footing and be ready to work on some active healing steps.  That’s what our widow retreats in California are all about.  We work with only six widows and people from all over the world have come to a sacred space to process their grief and be cared for while with other women who understand.  

It is a beautiful experience when the time is right.  We offer clarity calls to confirm whether our retreat would fit you well and if it is the right time.  The retreat must be at least six months after the date you lost your husband.  

You can get more retreat information here

Hotel courtyard
King suite bed
Dining room
Retreat Hotel Swimming Pool
Widows Grief Retreat Main Lobby
Fitness Room
King suite sink and fridge

The Next Chapter Widow Retreat

A one-of-a-kind journey of hope and healing for only 4 widows!

Orange, California

Sign up for a clarity call with Anne-Marie here

 Sign up to get notified of upcoming widow retreat dates

EXCELLENT
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
Based on 42 reviews
Posted on Google Google
Ann profile picture
Ann
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
Nearly a year after I lost my beloved husband, I attended a retreat with these folks. I still miss my love daily, but Anne-Marie and Ron gave me tools and a support network (including wonderful new friends!) to move forward without feeling like I'm leaving him behind. If you feel stuck in the sadness and hopelessness grief, I recommend reaching out to them as an important first step in learning how to craft the next part of your life.
Posted on Google Google
Karen Elliott profile picture
Karen Elliott
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
Anne-Marie and Ron were amazing in helping me process so many emotions and feelings. For so many months I could not have imagined seeing past my grief and sadness. They gave me hope, peace and so much more. Admittedly I was very nervous to take such a leap and coming to the retreat. I could not have been met with more comfort, compassion, thoughtfulness and kindness to help me figure out my next chapters of life without the love of my life. They are an incredible team !
Posted on Google Google
Orida Edwards profile picture
Orida Edwards
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
For many years now, annual retreats have been an important part of my self-care — one women’s retreat (preferably a preached but silent retreat) and one couples’ retreat in addition to periodic days of reflection. Until recently, I have never been widowed so I never sought or even researched options for a widows’ retreat. Without a shadow of a doubt, I can wholeheartedly say I feel like I hit the lottery jackpot when I landed in the care of Anne-Marie, Ron, and the team of professionals to whom God entrusted my heart during The Next Chapter Widows’ Retreat. Within 24 hours of my arrival, I was certain of two things: (1) the level of care I was receiving was nothing short of phenomenal; and (2) ALL of the professionals working with us had a deep and unwavering passion for ministering to widows. Imagine receiving one-on-one counseling, guidance, and intensive therapy. Imagine the safe space that naturally resulted from intimate group sessions limited to four widows who almost immediately became part of a really tight-knit community that felt more like family than friends. Imagine being led through a grief process that promotes honoring the memory of your late husband and carrying his spirit and his presence with you into the future as you begin the next chapter of your journey in a super healthy way! This imagination quickly became a reality for me during the pre-arrival exercises and especially once I was able to enter our safe space, embrace Anne-Marie, Ron, their support team, and my fellow retreatants. I will forever be grateful for the role that The Next Chapter Retreat team played in preparing me for the next phase of my journey, for providing us with a toolkit of techniques we can use to deal with various other losses, and for making themselves available to us post-retreat. This is really my definition of family. I am truly grateful to now be a part of The Next Chapter family.
Posted on Google Google
Denise Peise profile picture
Denise Peise
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
I cannot express the gratitude I feel for Ron, Anne-Marie, Sadie and my fellow Hummingbirds. I was nervous to attend the retreat but upon arrival was quickly put at ease by the warm, welcoming environment and instant connection all of my fellow widows formed. From how we all seemed to feel and interact during the course of the retreat, I feel we made some important strides in the healing process and I took home some valuable tools that I could use back home in everyday life. I highly recommend this retreat to anyone who has the need. It was transformational for me! Thank you Hummingbirds! And a deep, sincere expression of thanks to Anne-Marie and Ron.
Posted on Google Google
Nancy Osman profile picture
Nancy Osman
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
Ann Marie and Ron are thoughtful in every way. While at the widows retreat my mind, body, soul and heart were cared for. They are compassionate leaders. Everything done has a purpose, trust the process and you will not regret taking the time to come to The Haven. As Ann Marie says "the work is brutiful"
Posted on Google Google
Cindy Napolitano profile picture
Cindy Napolitano
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
I absolutely recommend the Widow's Retreat with Anne-Marie & Ron. I was so scared to go but I needed and wanted help with my grief. I never thought that a weekend could make the difference in my perspective on the loss of my beloved Patrick. They do not ask you to leave your person behind. They help you to go into your next chapter with all the memories of your LOVE bringing him along. They treat you with kindness and love. Everything you need or want is there. You have all the privacy you want in a beautiful environment. They encourage you , in a firm but gentle way, to go places , in your mind, you didn't think you could possibly do. The other Ladies help with the process. They truly understand and yet all our stories were so different and yet the same. It was also wonderful to work with the horses. The horses had a way of teaching us about ourselves with their wonderful handler Kelly. If you have the opportunity to go.... GO!!!! They said I would feel lighter. I thought they were crazy but it is so true. It takes hard work but you can do it. I did it and am so eternally grateful.
Posted on Google Google
Michelle MC profile picture
Michelle MC
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
I'm so grateful I attended the Widow's Retreat last month, and did some exceptional grief work to help me move forward! Ron and Anne-Marie are quite amazing people and such gifted counselors. Seek them out. There is true healing when we do the work. On to the Next Chapter!
Posted on Google Google
Linda profile picture
Linda
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
I recommend this weekend retreat to any widow who has done some of the hard grieving work, perhaps feels stuck, and needs some help and guidance to move forward. I felt a seismic shift happen within me after the retreat. Something almost tangible yet hard to express in words. I came home and found myself more present and ready to live. I don't think about my husband and fall into the well of obsessive thinking about all that happened the last year of his life; the things I did and didn't do, and the things I said, and didn't say, etc. The freedom from perseverating over the past has been lifted. This is a huge relief. Anne-Marie and Ron provide a safe, comforting, beautiful and nurturing place to stay. They thought of everything. You will be taken care of in a gentle, loving way so that you can focus on yourself, your grief, the exercises and enjoying connecting with three other women who "get it". I'm truly grateful for the opportunity I had to do this important work. I never imagined so much healing could take place in one weekend, but for me, it did. I feel clearer, I am more grounded, and able to move forward in a way I previously could not have imagined. This weekend was one of the best gifts I could give myself during this difficult time. If you are ready to commit to working hard, being vulnerable, and willing to sit with difficult emotions; If you can let go of any expectations and remain open to the possibilities; I believe this weekend retreat can be of benefit to you.
Posted on Google Google
Marisa Katnić profile picture
Marisa Katnić
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
This retreat exceeded my expectations and gave me heartfelt hope. Ron and Anne-Marie are beyond gracious and knowledgeable in dealing with widows. I am beyond grateful.
Posted on Google Google
Shameem Sennese profile picture
Shameem Sennese
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
Where to begin? This beautiful retreat at The Haven was a blessing to me on so many levels. First off, Ann-Marie and Ron are so warm and welcoming. They listen to you and do not judge where you are at on your grief journey. They simply come along side you, giving you new tools and ways to cope.The grounds are incredible and beautiful.Easy to get to from airport. Everything was so lovely's many personal touches. The equine therapy with Enzo was surprisingly helpful.I and no idea until I got there what the horse/equine therapy would entail. Amazing experience. There's one on one therapy and group sessions. I enjoyed getting to know the other women, now I have formed some new and beautiful friendships. I would highly recommend Haven retreat for anyone with a new or old loss. Needing to have some type of breakthrough.... this was a safe space to be open to next steps.You won't regret it.

Our Widow RetreatLearn More

Helpful Books & Resources For WidowsComing Soon

Ways To Honor Your HusbandClick Here

Widow BlogRead Blog

Video Library

EXCELLENT
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
Based on 42 reviews
Posted on Google Google
Ann profile picture
Ann
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
Nearly a year after I lost my beloved husband, I attended a retreat with these folks. I still miss my love daily, but Anne-Marie and Ron gave me tools and a support network (including wonderful new friends!) to move forward without feeling like I'm leaving him behind. If you feel stuck in the sadness and hopelessness grief, I recommend reaching out to them as an important first step in learning how to craft the next part of your life.
Posted on Google Google
Karen Elliott profile picture
Karen Elliott
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
Anne-Marie and Ron were amazing in helping me process so many emotions and feelings. For so many months I could not have imagined seeing past my grief and sadness. They gave me hope, peace and so much more. Admittedly I was very nervous to take such a leap and coming to the retreat. I could not have been met with more comfort, compassion, thoughtfulness and kindness to help me figure out my next chapters of life without the love of my life. They are an incredible team !
Posted on Google Google
Orida Edwards profile picture
Orida Edwards
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
For many years now, annual retreats have been an important part of my self-care — one women’s retreat (preferably a preached but silent retreat) and one couples’ retreat in addition to periodic days of reflection. Until recently, I have never been widowed so I never sought or even researched options for a widows’ retreat. Without a shadow of a doubt, I can wholeheartedly say I feel like I hit the lottery jackpot when I landed in the care of Anne-Marie, Ron, and the team of professionals to whom God entrusted my heart during The Next Chapter Widows’ Retreat. Within 24 hours of my arrival, I was certain of two things: (1) the level of care I was receiving was nothing short of phenomenal; and (2) ALL of the professionals working with us had a deep and unwavering passion for ministering to widows. Imagine receiving one-on-one counseling, guidance, and intensive therapy. Imagine the safe space that naturally resulted from intimate group sessions limited to four widows who almost immediately became part of a really tight-knit community that felt more like family than friends. Imagine being led through a grief process that promotes honoring the memory of your late husband and carrying his spirit and his presence with you into the future as you begin the next chapter of your journey in a super healthy way! This imagination quickly became a reality for me during the pre-arrival exercises and especially once I was able to enter our safe space, embrace Anne-Marie, Ron, their support team, and my fellow retreatants. I will forever be grateful for the role that The Next Chapter Retreat team played in preparing me for the next phase of my journey, for providing us with a toolkit of techniques we can use to deal with various other losses, and for making themselves available to us post-retreat. This is really my definition of family. I am truly grateful to now be a part of The Next Chapter family.
Posted on Google Google
Denise Peise profile picture
Denise Peise
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
I cannot express the gratitude I feel for Ron, Anne-Marie, Sadie and my fellow Hummingbirds. I was nervous to attend the retreat but upon arrival was quickly put at ease by the warm, welcoming environment and instant connection all of my fellow widows formed. From how we all seemed to feel and interact during the course of the retreat, I feel we made some important strides in the healing process and I took home some valuable tools that I could use back home in everyday life. I highly recommend this retreat to anyone who has the need. It was transformational for me! Thank you Hummingbirds! And a deep, sincere expression of thanks to Anne-Marie and Ron.
Posted on Google Google
Nancy Osman profile picture
Nancy Osman
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
Ann Marie and Ron are thoughtful in every way. While at the widows retreat my mind, body, soul and heart were cared for. They are compassionate leaders. Everything done has a purpose, trust the process and you will not regret taking the time to come to The Haven. As Ann Marie says "the work is brutiful"
Posted on Google Google
Cindy Napolitano profile picture
Cindy Napolitano
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
I absolutely recommend the Widow's Retreat with Anne-Marie & Ron. I was so scared to go but I needed and wanted help with my grief. I never thought that a weekend could make the difference in my perspective on the loss of my beloved Patrick. They do not ask you to leave your person behind. They help you to go into your next chapter with all the memories of your LOVE bringing him along. They treat you with kindness and love. Everything you need or want is there. You have all the privacy you want in a beautiful environment. They encourage you , in a firm but gentle way, to go places , in your mind, you didn't think you could possibly do. The other Ladies help with the process. They truly understand and yet all our stories were so different and yet the same. It was also wonderful to work with the horses. The horses had a way of teaching us about ourselves with their wonderful handler Kelly. If you have the opportunity to go.... GO!!!! They said I would feel lighter. I thought they were crazy but it is so true. It takes hard work but you can do it. I did it and am so eternally grateful.
Posted on Google Google
Michelle MC profile picture
Michelle MC
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
I'm so grateful I attended the Widow's Retreat last month, and did some exceptional grief work to help me move forward! Ron and Anne-Marie are quite amazing people and such gifted counselors. Seek them out. There is true healing when we do the work. On to the Next Chapter!
Posted on Google Google
Linda profile picture
Linda
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
I recommend this weekend retreat to any widow who has done some of the hard grieving work, perhaps feels stuck, and needs some help and guidance to move forward. I felt a seismic shift happen within me after the retreat. Something almost tangible yet hard to express in words. I came home and found myself more present and ready to live. I don't think about my husband and fall into the well of obsessive thinking about all that happened the last year of his life; the things I did and didn't do, and the things I said, and didn't say, etc. The freedom from perseverating over the past has been lifted. This is a huge relief. Anne-Marie and Ron provide a safe, comforting, beautiful and nurturing place to stay. They thought of everything. You will be taken care of in a gentle, loving way so that you can focus on yourself, your grief, the exercises and enjoying connecting with three other women who "get it". I'm truly grateful for the opportunity I had to do this important work. I never imagined so much healing could take place in one weekend, but for me, it did. I feel clearer, I am more grounded, and able to move forward in a way I previously could not have imagined. This weekend was one of the best gifts I could give myself during this difficult time. If you are ready to commit to working hard, being vulnerable, and willing to sit with difficult emotions; If you can let go of any expectations and remain open to the possibilities; I believe this weekend retreat can be of benefit to you.
Posted on Google Google
Marisa Katnić profile picture
Marisa Katnić
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
This retreat exceeded my expectations and gave me heartfelt hope. Ron and Anne-Marie are beyond gracious and knowledgeable in dealing with widows. I am beyond grateful.
Posted on Google Google
Shameem Sennese profile picture
Shameem Sennese
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google.
Where to begin? This beautiful retreat at The Haven was a blessing to me on so many levels. First off, Ann-Marie and Ron are so warm and welcoming. They listen to you and do not judge where you are at on your grief journey. They simply come along side you, giving you new tools and ways to cope.The grounds are incredible and beautiful.Easy to get to from airport. Everything was so lovely's many personal touches. The equine therapy with Enzo was surprisingly helpful.I and no idea until I got there what the horse/equine therapy would entail. Amazing experience. There's one on one therapy and group sessions. I enjoyed getting to know the other women, now I have formed some new and beautiful friendships. I would highly recommend Haven retreat for anyone with a new or old loss. Needing to have some type of breakthrough.... this was a safe space to be open to next steps.You won't regret it.
Grief Care Counseling

Anne-Marie is the author of the

8-Time Award-Winning Book

“I wish everyone could read this book so they will be prepared to support loved ones when a tragedy strikes. Excellent resource with practical steps to help a grieving friend.”

– Mindy Daffron
Crisis Team Manager,
Trauma Intervention Program

Podcasts

Trauma Healing Retreat

Finding Joy After The Loss of a Spouse

Listen in to this inspirational story of how one widow was determined to use her experience to help other grievers.

Listen

Hope For Grieving Hearts

When you’re ready, there is hope and support for you

Listen

Conversations To Help You Heal

Explore the raw and unseen sides of loss and healing with stories, reflections, and real-life guidance on navigating grief.

Listen

Grief And Trauma Counseling

Mindfulness and Grief - Guilt, Regret, & Traumatic Loss: How To Stop Blaming Yourself

If you have been blaming yourself for the death of your loved one, or feeling guilty that you didn’t do something you “should” have done, you are not alone.

Listen