The Grief of Mother’s Day

from Anne-Marie Lockmyer

As Mother’s Day approaches, with the blooms and freshness of springtime, we usually think about flowers, cards, serving breakfast in bed or going out for yummy brunches and lunches to celebrate. It’s a day to make our moms feel special.

But not for everyone.

It is easy for those of us who are celebrating to forget about those who may be hurting on this day. It is a day that reminds them of someone they love that isn’t there anymore.

No one ever replaces your mom. And whether it was a close relationship or a strained one, this day can remind others of that loss and the hole that is in their heart.

‍It makes sense to us that people who have lost their mothers may be sad on this day.

BUT let’s not forget the mothers that have lost their children.

Mother’s Day can be a reminder of that traumatic loss. The children that they are mothers of are no longer with them. It doesn’t matter how old the child was — young or adult. It could also be a loss due to miscarriage or stillborn. This day can heighten the awareness of the loss for them.

Is there anyone you know who has lost their mother or their child in the last year or two? Would you consider remembering them during this time when most people tend to forget?

What could you do?

Send a card telling them you care and you know this may be a hard day for them as they are missing their mom or child. And if you knew their loved one, maybe you could share a memory of them.

Send them a basket of sunshine. This is just a little basket full of lots of different things that are yellow. Google it and you will get lots of ideas.

Send them a gift basket of coffee, tea, chocolate covered strawberries, cookies, etc. You can quickly order items like this from lots of places, including Costco — all wrapped up and ready to go, if you don’t have time to do it yourself. It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive.

Send them flowers with a sweet note.

Take them to brunch and ask them to share memories of their loved one.

Give them a call.

The key is just to remember and reach out. It doesn’t have to be difficult or expensive. It is about the thought.

I can tell you from experience, having someone remember you at a time when most people forget, makes such a difference. It is a lovely and surprising touch of care and concern.

It tells people that they matter and you remember that they are still hurting.

Who needs a special touch from you this Mother’s Day?

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